Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Awake Too Late...

I've been arranging to get a new baby dragon at long last - my treasured blood-red leatherback beardie - and I've found her. It's taken a few days, but I've finally got everything sorted out.

20:13: Emasmad the courier has gone to collect my baby dragon!

23:22: ‎15 mins to collection - 3 hours til dropoff. I'm knackered but will be worth it

02:25: Still awake, still waiting. Last I heard was motorway closed. Was asked if tomorrow ok - difficult, but what time says I, an hour ago. Nothing since, though phone rings. Mind you, not supposed to answer whilst driving I guess.

03.30: Road closures has caused serious travel problems - Ema's had to go home to cover for her partner. However, I discovered she lives in Somerset like we do! So it was a simple matter to arrange for baby dragon to be delivered to OUR house when we get home instead. Saves having to haul her along on the trains, and Ema kindly said she'd feed her for us.

However, staying up so late, I watched a LOT of junk TV just trying to keep awake - and I'm b
eginning to understand why Nan prefers only to watch BBC channels. Some of these adverts are
just hideous, for many reasons. (Though I'd rather suffer the adverts than pay for a license - if only it worked like that.) For example, I hate that Werther's chocolate advert that says "It conjures up this image of boiled sweets - it's none of those things!" ... what, none of those ONE things?!?!

Worse is the Whiskas blackmail: "My cat loves Whiskas - I love my cat." Translates: You don't love your cat if you don't buy them this overpriced crap.

Better yet is wording in some adverts, such as: "Nothing hidden - just the facts." So, the facts are hidden then? Or is that just me being awkward?

Then there's the "AUGH! GERMS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!" insanity of the modern age. For example: Vanish and it's "scary!" germy sheets; because I can remember the last time I caught the black plague off my duvet. Or there's my real bugbear: Dettol's "No Touch" hand sanitiser. "Never have to touch a germy soap pump again!" - uh yeah, because you're soooofar away from anything that could clean your hands with... like... uh... soap?

Leading hand sanitisers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants. Please, read this.

My favourite targets? That facecream that's "inspired by the science of genes" - meaning it has absolutely nothing to do with genetic research, but hearing the phrase gave them a great idea to make the advert. I particularly hate all the adverts with made up chemical names, like "Pro-Gen", "Pro-Xylane" (the "green" innovation) and "Pro-Calcium"- this one's a favourite: I love the way they give you the option to "learn more" and give you ALLLLL of this info! It's almost TOO much! (I hope they don't start a school.)

So, L'oreal, why don't you save everyone time and add some Moronic Acid? Alright, it's not just L'oreal but pfff, they're all guilty. Fucitol and g'night.

Thought for the day: Does it still count if your touchpad mouse doesn't make a click noise?

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