Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Things That Go Wrong...

So far we've had nothing go wrong with my new bathroom - shown is the trim B&Q tiles we chose to go with the white suite, grey tiles and slate floor. Mind you, there's not much TO go wrong with the bathroom - it's been perfectly empty for days! I have a brand new toilet waiting in the spare bedroom, and my bedroom is back where it should be, though we still have airing cupboard contents all over the place whilst we await the sparkie and the plumber shifting the shower unit in a couple of days.

Oh, and we had the builders in a blazing row this morning, as the kitchen units were being brought in. One of the geniuses that designed it managed to screw up the measurements and now the units won't fit in! Thankfully the company do a slim version of one of the units which happens to fit perfectly in the space we're left - and I have a lovely new hob and oven in place. The hob is shiney, pretty and superglossy (when it's not covered in plaster and breezeblock dust). They even managed to deliver the right sized bit of worktop for the breakfast bar - soon I'll have a seat of my own there, and it'll be all "cathedra mea, regulae meae". I'd say it for the kitchen, but I have to share it. I found a handy little quote too, to bear in mind when things go to-pot. Thanks Mr Schuly!

But my goodness. Things do go much more wrong for some people don't they?

I was reading about the case of two muggers back in '94, having stopped a man in the street and threatened him with two large pocketknives for his money. The victim blinked in surprise: "Are you insane?" They demanded the money again and threatened to cut him. So he promptly broke their arms in multiple places, sat them in the kerb with their knives and calmly waited for the police to come. The man they picked has a 1st degree in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, an 8th Degree Grandmaster in Tae Kwon Do, 9th in Jeet Kune Do under Bruce Lee and Lee’s best student, Dan Inosanto, a 10th degree in Shito Ryu Karate, 10th in Tang Soo Do, and an 11th degree in Chun Kuk Do - an art developed in his own dojo.

The police were unable to handcuff the men as their arms were so badly damaged with bones protruding from the flesh - and promptly fell about laughing. "Did you not know who he was?!"

When questioned, one mugger replied, “Yeah, we knew who he was but we figured all that crap on TV was fake! Lesson learned: Don't mug Chuck Norris.

Today's Quote: "I like the way that sparks when I plug it in. Really makes me feel safe..." Said with ironic tones -HL.

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