Tuesday, 13 July 2010

House of Pain (in the ass.)

So - we've been ripping out the kitchen. We're destroying the bathroom. We're rapidly running out of rooms to put stuff in, as the electrician wants to take up half of the upstairs floorboards. Boy this is fun!

All the shifting around, tearing up and pulling down is also revealing further "errors" produced by the nice men (AKA Cowboys) that built the extension and worked on the house in general - to a rather spectacular extent...

The list of fails found (and mostly fixed) so far includes:

Leaking flatroof on extension
Spaghetti cables for telephone wires
Carpet in the bathroom - mmm, rotting!
Extractor fan feeding into cavity insulation
Wrong valve type on garden tap
Kitchen concrete floor: carpet stuck in it!
Constant boiler overflow due to failed valve
"Great" wallpaper all over: upside down, overlaps, gaps, creases, and rips...
A random extra windowsill!
Double layer of tiles in bathroom
Incredible black mould in most rooms
Damp problems from leaking boiler
Spaghetti style water pipes in kitchen
Backwards aerial cables throughout house
3 pullswitches: no pulls. Just yanked out.
Gatepost fell off in high winds last winter

We STILL can't work out what the deal is with the pipes for garden tap (Valves?)
Random lightswitches: "Very f*kn random"
Livingroom carpet: big bald SEAM in middle
Burnt 250V cable was sparking/smoking
So they cellotaped it and plastered over it
Concrete facings outside crumbling
Fascias rotted through and falling off
Rat in the attic, climbed through fascia
Ariel fixing rotted and aerial dropped off
Extension main power ring done backwards and needs to be completely redone
Odd air vents left from old heating system
It's TRIPLE tiling in the bathroom.
Himself not happy.

I could cry sometimes. But it would only contribute to the existing damp and mould problems.

Quote of the Day: "You'd only be bored if we had a normal house." - His Lordship. Too true, too true. The sheer amount of fail is very funny though!

No comments: