Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Bumends, Bagels, and Burritos.

Some very strange things happen around me - some plain odd, some gross, and some just... WHY?

On my way out of Tesco this afternoon, I noticed a bloke picking fagends. Not just off the street either, which is bad enough, but out of an overflowing dustbin. Normally I'd feel sorry for him, but this bloke just did a pile of shopping, two tills down from me. If you've got enough money for crisps and crap, why not avoid getting contagious diseases to go with your cancer? Ugh.

Discussing dinners with Shroom earlier, he had this to say to the readers: "Well, like a man once told me: Hot dog. Bagel. Put em together and now they have a purpose. It's rather weird, seeing a man put a hot dog slowly in a bagel, then just set it on the table and tap it. Don't think I'll ever do that in front of a mirror again. Tastes delicious though." - gives me a wonderful vision somewhat akin to a punchbag session, but with a hotdog... (Pic: Oddee.com)

A friend of mine has discovered he has a rather bizarre condition, meaning he can't read anything in yellow... "It turns out I'm not stupid, I just have screwy eyes!" He describes the effect of yellow writing as - it makes his brain somewhat like a dodgy PC, it forces too much into his head at once and his processor can't handle it.

I was shocked when I heard one of the girls at work had recently been given a bag worth over £900 by her boyfriend. I don't think I could ever buy a bag that costs almost a grand - I could never justify it when there are too many other practical things I could be buying. Being as I'm still pondering buying a bag, and have been trying to justify it for some time - at the grand price of £3.99.

Mum sent me a quick email that made me laugh: "I was walking down the village with Deif, when this girl walks up to me and says: 'That's one of them 'Chimichanga' dogs, isn't it?' Me - 'No, he's a chihuahua.' Her - 'You're WRONG!' Me -'Ooooookaaaay......excuse me, I have to go home and feed my burrito.' ... " (Pic: I-am-bored.com

Bearing in mind I don't smoke, very rarely drink, and have yet to have my long awaited hash brownie (still haven't got round to going to Amsterdam) and don't condone the use of illegal substances - I have learned some rather practical tips over the last few years, from how to prepare your herbs for better cookies (use best butter and lightly fry) to producing a proper green brick (bread tins work best). Also, here's a handy bit of advice for anyone that does it - soaking your mushrooms in honey for a week and consuming the honey instead allows for less risk of a bad trip I'm told. Plus it would preserve the mushrooms I guess.

Still, I prefer being in full control of my systems - that's why I don't like getting drunk. I don't see the fun in spending so much money, just to wake up with my head in a toilet and have no idea of where all my money went. I just believe in learning - it's fascinating what you can find out!

Here's a thought for you: Why don't lizards yawn when you yawn at them? I noticed they like a good yawn - heck, Kyle's set ME off a few times, and it works with dogs if you yawn at them...

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