Saturday, 12 September 2009

Dragonflies and Disguises

I stunned His Lordship today; we went for a walk in the lovely sunshine with the dragons and I spotted a red dragonfly flitting around. As he watched, I spoke to the insect and called for it to land on my outstretched palm. It lit gently down, turned a circle and contentedly spread its wings in the sun. "Cor blimey," says he, "well, would you look at that!" You only have to ask them nicely if you want to summon dragonflies.

I would like people to make me a promise - I was thinking about it on the way home from work on my little motorbike. I saw a flatbed truck with some weebly portaloos, green ones this time, I see a lot of blue ones too, and I thought to myself: "If I ever get killed by something embarrassing, like being crushed by a portaloo, then please would someone twist the truth a little? Make it, make it a truck full of money or gold bars, or something cool at the very least." I don't want to be remembered like poor Luther Burbank - his last words were "I don't feel good." (

I'm also planning this year's Halloween costume - we're looking a bit Final Fantasy, photographed in Black and White... Could be tricky, but I have a gorgeous wig being shipped over from China already. I'm thinking to wraptie the a few inches at the back, about halfway down, loosely with a wide black silk bow. Should go nicely with my black PVC ballgown.

Derren Brown next week - attempting to literally glue you to your seat. Friday 9pm, Channel 4.

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